The Original Timeline

Before my mom died, this is what I knew about her life:

  • During her childhood her parents and younger brother died.
  • She lived with an aunt and uncle who abused her.
  • She met my brother’s father in the 70s while he was stationed in Manila.
  • They got married.
  • They moved to the US (North Carolina) and my brother was born in 75.
  • My brother’s father died in the late 70s.
  • My mom had my sister in 79 with a new partner. They separated eventually.
  • My mom met my dad in the 80s, had me in 85, and we moved down to Florida
  • My mom and dad eventually separated as well.
  • We lived all over Tampa from the late 80s until now.
  • My mom died on June 29th, 2019, leaving no family besides me, my brother and my sister and their kids.

My brother messaged me last night. We have family in the Philippines. They’ve been searching for our mom for four decades. We have aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. The original timeline is shattered. And I’m left with thousands of questions. Not only do I have to process my grief, but now I have to come to grips with the fact that my mom had an entire family in the Philippines that she never told us about. Why?

Thank you for visiting my writing blog! I have two other sites dedicated to food and to promoting my online teaching business. You can find these sites at: Food & Cooking: Online Teaching: COMING SOON!

4 comments on “The Original Timeline

  1. Hello you xxxx no idea why…your Mum was such a beautiful but complex lady who must have had her reasons but I think it’s so unfair to keep this important sort of information away from family x something similar has just happened to friend of mine who following both her parents deaths found she had 3 sisters …they have all met up to talk. Maybe her Philippine family who have been looking for her have some answers…you mentioned abuse? Was this before she left ? so sorry you can’t her ask her directly my lovely and loved daughter in law. Xxx. Maybe a trip to be planned to your Philippine family? Xxxxxxxx


    • Hey Alexis. Long time, no see. My mum died when I was 18. I found out I had a sister in Germany I never knew about from reading my mum’s diary. My dad was still there and he could answer some of the questions that I had but not all. Eventually we met my sister and her husband. She is amazing. There are still questions that me, my brother and our sister have that will never be answered. This is undoubtedly shit. But I have a whole other branch of my family. Some of your questions will never be answered but with these new aunts and uncles and cousins, some might. I don’t have any advice for you but I hope that even if you don’t find answers, you find family


      • Alexis F. W. White

        Thank you for sharing your story with me and words of encouragement. It’s a lot to process, but, as you note, the best case scenario is finding more family to connect with!


    • Alexis F. W. White

      We are arranging to talk soon. My brother, sister and I have connected with them through Facebook messenger and hopefully we’ll be able to have a group Skype chat soon. Needless to say, I have A LOT of questions. I do think a trip to the Philippines will be necessary at some point…


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